Thursday, January 29, 2004
Why is it that every time I try to come up with a title to my entry, I always think “The Truth about Cats and Dogs” over and over in my head?
Obviously this entry isn’t going to be anything related to cats and dogs. It’s just so weird that every time I create a title, I literally think “The Truth about Cats and Dogs”. My mind is being fucking wasted on pot and booze and endless hours playing with my cat and dog. Sike. I have hamsters you ballsac.
Let’s just hope this entry goes in a more focused direction from here on in. I have the most gigantic lip zit today. It is red and bulbous and looks as though it contains my new baby inside. The worst part? The lip zit I had on Monday is on the other side of my mouth and is in scar mode. Does anyone want to hire an actor that has lip zit scars all over their mouth? If you do, send me an email. Unfortunately, this amount of beauty can’t last forever.
Drink my cum.
So…this weekend Rita comes to town. I couldn’t be more elated. I haven’t seen her since October and that is way too long. 2 or 3 weekends ago, I actually called her at 10pm on a Friday night and sobbed on her voicemail about how much it sucks to have her so far away. She called me back immediately and we just fell in love all over again. We decided that a trip was absolutely necessary and that leads us to this weekend.
I know we have two whole days together, but it’s never enough time and when she leaves on Sunday, part of my heart will be ripped out and force fed down my own gullet. Which is probably for the best since I’m gonna need that heart in the long run.
As spring looms round the corner, so does Rita’s marriage to her fiancé, Drew. A day that I had hoped would never come. I mean, of course I want her to have a family and get married and of course I ultimately want nothing else for her than happiness…but…but it’s hard and a big change and she’s my best friend and I wish there was a way for she and I to fall in hetero love and get married ourselves. She is the last link I have to the hetero world…at least as far as thinking I may still be straight.
At 26 years old, I’m not only positive I’m gay, I’m relieved. I mean, who wants to go through 20 years of being called a “fag” just to find out at the end of the road, that you really were straight? Talk about a fucked up life and a sad state of affairs. But with Rita, there was always that chance that we would really end up together. We are literal peas in a pod. We are THE perfect balance. If there was no such thing as vaginal/penile sex, we would have the quintessential love relationship. It would be nothing short of wonderfulness.
But instead, I have to accept the fact that not only is Rita a women, she’s not a bodybuilder. And we know how I feel about the bodybuilders.
I am so proud to be able to be in her wedding as a groomsman and to stand by her side throughout this entire process. She will need me the most of everyone and I will want to be needed just as much. If there was a way to give someone your heart, Rita would have had mine long ago.
Okay, I don’t know where all of this has come from, but here it is. And I do feel a little bit more at ease about this whole situation, having written some of it down. Expect more posts like this in the next couple of months.
Ultimately, I am SO excited for her and for the changes this wedding is going to bring into both her and my life. She will eventually have a baby (that I will steal) and she will have a house and a picket fence (which she’ll probably make me paint) and so many shit filled diapers that I will laugh and laugh and laugh. Pausing only to pop my lip zits.
Rita’s plane comes in at 6:05pm on Friday.
I will be waiting there with tears in my eyes.
Obviously this entry isn’t going to be anything related to cats and dogs. It’s just so weird that every time I create a title, I literally think “The Truth about Cats and Dogs”. My mind is being fucking wasted on pot and booze and endless hours playing with my cat and dog. Sike. I have hamsters you ballsac.
Let’s just hope this entry goes in a more focused direction from here on in. I have the most gigantic lip zit today. It is red and bulbous and looks as though it contains my new baby inside. The worst part? The lip zit I had on Monday is on the other side of my mouth and is in scar mode. Does anyone want to hire an actor that has lip zit scars all over their mouth? If you do, send me an email. Unfortunately, this amount of beauty can’t last forever.
Drink my cum.
So…this weekend Rita comes to town. I couldn’t be more elated. I haven’t seen her since October and that is way too long. 2 or 3 weekends ago, I actually called her at 10pm on a Friday night and sobbed on her voicemail about how much it sucks to have her so far away. She called me back immediately and we just fell in love all over again. We decided that a trip was absolutely necessary and that leads us to this weekend.
I know we have two whole days together, but it’s never enough time and when she leaves on Sunday, part of my heart will be ripped out and force fed down my own gullet. Which is probably for the best since I’m gonna need that heart in the long run.
As spring looms round the corner, so does Rita’s marriage to her fiancé, Drew. A day that I had hoped would never come. I mean, of course I want her to have a family and get married and of course I ultimately want nothing else for her than happiness…but…but it’s hard and a big change and she’s my best friend and I wish there was a way for she and I to fall in hetero love and get married ourselves. She is the last link I have to the hetero world…at least as far as thinking I may still be straight.
At 26 years old, I’m not only positive I’m gay, I’m relieved. I mean, who wants to go through 20 years of being called a “fag” just to find out at the end of the road, that you really were straight? Talk about a fucked up life and a sad state of affairs. But with Rita, there was always that chance that we would really end up together. We are literal peas in a pod. We are THE perfect balance. If there was no such thing as vaginal/penile sex, we would have the quintessential love relationship. It would be nothing short of wonderfulness.
But instead, I have to accept the fact that not only is Rita a women, she’s not a bodybuilder. And we know how I feel about the bodybuilders.
I am so proud to be able to be in her wedding as a groomsman and to stand by her side throughout this entire process. She will need me the most of everyone and I will want to be needed just as much. If there was a way to give someone your heart, Rita would have had mine long ago.
Okay, I don’t know where all of this has come from, but here it is. And I do feel a little bit more at ease about this whole situation, having written some of it down. Expect more posts like this in the next couple of months.
Ultimately, I am SO excited for her and for the changes this wedding is going to bring into both her and my life. She will eventually have a baby (that I will steal) and she will have a house and a picket fence (which she’ll probably make me paint) and so many shit filled diapers that I will laugh and laugh and laugh. Pausing only to pop my lip zits.
Rita’s plane comes in at 6:05pm on Friday.
I will be waiting there with tears in my eyes.
